


Patenting is hard.

by firestarter3d



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Good Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Song Parody, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firestarter3d/pseuds/firestarter3d
Summary: Petunia and narcissa need a map to navigate their teenagers lives.





	Patenting is hard.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't think of a sister for draco, so i guess this is a Hermione is dracos sister AU now. Also i have no idea how harry ended up with a cast.

[Petunia dursley:]  
Have you been writing those letters to yourself? "Dear Harry potter, this is gonna be a good day and here's why..."

[Harry potter:]  
I started one.

[Petunia Dursley]  
Those letters are important, honey. They're gonna help you build your confidence.

[Harry potter:]  
I guess.

[Petunia dursley:]  
Can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh?  
Can we buck up just enough to see the world won't fall apart?  
Maybe this year, we decide  
We're not giving up before we've tried  
This year, we make a new start

[Petunia dursley]  
Hey! I know! You can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast. How 'bout that?

[Harry potter:]  
Perfect.

[Petunia dursley:]  
I'm proud of you already.

[Harry potter:]  
Oh, good...

[Petunia dursley :]  
Another stellar conversation for the scrapbook  
Another stumble as I'm reaching for the right thing to say  
I'm kinda coming up empty  
Can't find my way to you

Does anybody have a map?  
Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this?  
I don't know if you can tell  
But this is me just pretending to know

So where's the map?  
I need a clue  
'Cause the scary truth is  
I'm flying blind  
And I'm making this up as I go

[Narcissa black malfoy]  
It's your senior year, draco. You are not missing the first day.

[Draco malfoy]  
I already said I'd go tomorrow.

[Lucius malfoy]  
He doesn't listen. Look at him, he's probably high.

[Hermione granger]  
He's definitely high.

[Narcissa black malfoy]  
I don't want you going to school high, draco.

[Draco malfoy:]  
Perfect, so then I won't go. Thanks, Mom!

[Narcissa black malfoy:]  
Another masterful attempt ends with disaster

[Lucius malfoy:]  
Interstate's already jammed.

[Narcissa black malfoy:]  
Pour another cup of coffee  
And watch it all crash and burn

[Hermione granger:]  
Draco finished the milk!

[Narcissa black malfoy:]  
It's a puzzle, it's a maze  
I tried to steer through it a million ways  
But each day's another wrong turn

[Lucius malfoy]  
I better head out.

[Hermione granger:]  
If Dracos not ready, I'm leaving without him.

[Narcissa black malfoy]  
Does anybody have a map?  
Anybody maybe..

[Petunia dursley:]  
Anybody have a map?

[BOTH:]  
..happen to know how the hell to do this?  
I don't know if you can tell  
But this is me just pretending to know

[Petunia dursley]  
So where's the map?

[Narcissa black malfoy]  
I need a clue

[BOTH:]  
'Cause the scary truth is

[Narcissa black malfoy:]  
I'm flying blind  
I'm flying blind

[Petunia dursley:]  
I'm flying blind  
I'm flying..

[BOTH:]  
I'm flying blind  
And I'm making this up as I go  
As I go


End file.
